Blood In, Blood Out

Surf Gang

Words: David Campbell 

Blood In, Blood Out; The essential guide to startup and maintain your very own surf gang.

So you’ve decided that the pure fun of surfing isn’t quite enough for you or perhaps it’s the pinnacle of your life, so you need to make sure you get the highest wave count of every single day. That your pals, should reign supreme at the local break. Here we will discuss how you can start up your own gang, enforce your authoritarian beliefs on others, look cool and hopefully get to take other people’s waves. All while outsiders can’t do shit about it, because your gang will kick their teeth in.

Firstly, you'll need a rad name. Every successful surf gang has to have a fucking cool name or else where’s the respect. Wolf pack, Bra Boys, Hell’s Angels. I like the idea of taking in some kind of evil shit, then adding some surfy stuff it. Reaper’s Wave Warriors, Satan’s SUPs. Or you could add in something about all the gang members penis sizes into it, like the Big Dick Bay Bros? Those both are up for grabs if you want to use them.

Second is you have to look cool but uniformly cool. Remember what you lose in lack of individuality you'll make up for in quality waves and bro downs. A great start would be a face tattoo. Nothing shows like you are bout it bout it, like a face tat. If you’re too much of a wimp for real gang attire, then maybe make some t-shirts with an inside joke only you and your crew will think is funny.

Lastly, is the bro downs, you need heavy bro downs. BBQs, beers, babes, macho shit. At these events make sure to argue the size of the last swell and call each other fags.  Remember the good times when you guys all went to some far off surf destination and the locals treated you so amazingly despite your pathetic behavior that you display back home.

Follow these steps and you’ll be on your way to some radical gangland shit. Don’t forget your gang needs some kind of income, and having a job is a total bummer so be prepared to do some actual illegal stuff. Remember you’re in for life, blood in and blood out, because there is nothing cooler than a grown man doing teenager shit.

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